This blog is general, not linked to skiing or anything specific, so everyone can relate and connect with it. I'll use examples of myself, skiing, but only because they're the stories I know the best to connect with my writing.
So without further ado, lets get real.
First thing I'm going to talk about is something that drives me absolutely insane. Peoples concept of the word "talent". I strongly dislike when people call me talented. I am not talented. People are very quick to point out someone as "talented" in sport, "smart" in school, "gifted" with technology, etc. etc. before they consider what work has been put in behind the scenes. It urks me so much when people call me talented because I really believe I am quite the contrary. I am very rarely good at anything I have not practiced or trained at diligently before.
For example(s), in elementary school, I never made the basketball or volleyball team (I practiced lots and tried out every year). In grades 4 I got cut from the cross country running team, in 5th grade I just barely got the last spot on the team. And I vividly remember always being one of the, if not the, last kids to be picked for a team for recess football. When I first started swimming, there was a program called Swim Skills which is essentially a pre-requisite for the actually swim club in Barrie. Most people do a year or so in Swim Skills then move onto the team. I spent a year and a half there, then got moved up to the team for a few months, then back down to Swim Skills because I couldn't keep up with the team. And in terms of skiing, people will say I'm talented, but before I committed to the sport, I was already training 2-3x as much as my competitors with swimming combined with skiing. Which showed fitness-wise, but also showed in my faulty technique. My point isn't that I was some dud and we should all feel bad for young Rj, my point is that I was pretty average, if not a little below, but I worked my ass off and now I've had a decent swim career, not too shabby of a runner, and a solid cross-country skier. And I'm only going to get better. I really think people are quick to justify peoples' success because it is so easy to say "well they're talented" or "well, they're smart" but really, you have just as much or even more potential. Don't allow other peoples' accomplishments slow you down from being great. And the best you, you can be.
Throughout my young life I have heard many different peoples different goals, life expectations, etc. and what people commonly return to, is that they want to be the best. You hear it all the time, from young kids, teenagers, pro athletes… and for a good majority of my life I was fully behind this idea. If you're not gunning for the top, why do it at all? Until recently ... I now strongly disagree with this message. There's only one "best" unfortunately we all can't be the best. In fact, most of us won't be the best. If we spend our time chasing this target, we end up focusing on other people, focusing on the quickest way to the top and we lose track of, why we do it and who we do it for. There are so many phenomenal people on this planet, many of them we'll never compare to. So what am I saying? Stop making goals? Give up? Demoralize you? Absolutely not, but what I do want to get across is that we lack focus on ourselves. The majority of us are average, and very few average people become the best. But here's the kicker. We all have the capacity and opportunity to turn average into incredible. Be something no one would have ever expected from us. Maybe that incredible won't be the best, but why not try? We say no to things we don't even know what we're saying no to, and give up on things before we even try. For me, do I want to be the best? Absolutely. No question. So I'm going to chase it with everything I've got. But that's not my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal is to be the best I can be. If we become the best we can be in whatever passion or path it takes us, great things will be accomplished. The issue is people seem to live in the shadow of having to be the best to make it worthwhile. Find something you're passionate about, focus on yourself, work hard, the results will follow your lead. Don't chase results, make the results chase you.
Now I'm kind of double backing on myself, but recently I've noticed poor feedback in some peoples self-reflection. Self-reflection can be our greatest tool, or our worst enemy. When people make a mistake or produce a result they're not happy with , they reflect back and either beat themselves up, or make excuses to justify it. Now what I've come to believe is that we allow influences we've grown up with to affect how we personally reflect on ourselves. When really self-reflection should be something pure. Now what I like to think, is that we should self-reflect from ourselves as toddlers/little kids. Here's why, when you ask a toddler what they want to be when they're older, you'll hear things like "astronaught, president, professional athlete, firefighter, artist, rockstar, author" … it is pure, it is really what they want to be with little to no negative exterior influences holding them back. They don't care if it's "realistic" or "sustainable". It's what they want to be, and as people grow up they lose focus of that purity through money and material wealth. So if we reflect on whatever scenario we're dealing with, look at it through the eyes of yourself as a toddler … whether it's deciding what you want to do with your life, are you pursuing what you really want to and are passionate about? How you treat the people close to you, how you advise people? How you spend your time, it can be anything. How would toddler you feel about what you are doing? It is like opening a new set of eyes on your entire scenario. From the eyes of the pure you.
I feel like I should be wrapping it up, I just have a few more things I want to cover. The first is a concept I heard from motivational speaker Jaret Grossman. In his speech "your brain is like a circuit switch" he delivers some very cool ideas that I was already surprisingly familiar with. What he summarizes is that our brain is like a circuit, so if we introduce it with the right wiring, we'll go straight to our target. Truly believing we are capable of doing something even if our physical body tells us otherwise. My immediate personal connection with this is Eastern Canadian Championships this season (2015), it was a 3 day race weekend, and I was entering it in not so hot condition. I was only a few weeks out of the flu, still close to 15lbs underweight, and I hadn't been able to sleep for more than 4-5 hours a night the week leading up to it. The first two races went relatively poorly, I was so tired, felt weak, still wasn't sleeping at night, wasn't having a great time. Then that night I decided I could either mope around and feel sorry for myself, or I could switch my mindset and go for it the next day. So I talked to Coach Ron for a while the night before, and decided I was going of it. I didn't sleep again that night, but what I did do is keep telling myself "I'm not tired, I feel awesome" on repeat in my head. All night and morning of the race. When I stepped on that line, I felt like I could hardly keep my eyes open, but it didn't matter, "I felt awesome". I went on to win my first ever Easterns gold medal. It just goes to show how powerful mindset is, to a certain extent you can convince your physical body to perform at levels it doesn't render possible. It won't always results in a great performance, but keeping that positive mind frame is a key component to everything. No matter how bad the scenario is going against you.
Okay, time to conclude this for real now, last paragraph. What inspired me to write this is not to spread my positive attitude and commitment, it was to show quite the contrary. I used to have some of the worst work ethic out of anyone I knew. Going back to swimming, I only used to tried when I felt like it, whenever the coach told me to push harder, I went easier. All I wanted to do was lounge around and play video games, stay inside, do anything as long as no one was telling me what to do. But it's all of this that I credit my work ethic. Because I never have trained a single minute hard because someone else wanted me to, I do it because I want to. And when I started training for skiing full time that's what I realized. If you want to back off and take it easy on your work, that's your call, no one in life can force work ethic and passion on you. It's something you build from inside of you and you take it to your goals and aspirations.
And I am not trying to claim I am a positive person either. I write all of this while I'm in one of my most upset moments I've ever been. My groin and abdominal pain is coming back in training more vigorously than ever, I've had multiple more doctors appointments since my last update with no success or any progress to recovering (which is super frustrating), and then my girlfriend of almost 2 years and I recently parted ways. I would be lying if I said I was doing alright. Most of the time in my mind, for every 1 positive thought I have, there are at least 10 negative thoughts. It's like a ten second stop watch cycle.
(I know what you're thinking, "Ryan don't put personal stuff and issues on your blog" … in blog #1 I said I was going to be real here, I keep my word. I document significant events in my life. Besides, people keep things too cooped up inside of them, it leads to bad things, we need to express ourselves more, be real with each other)
But here's the thing, we all have overwhelming negative thoughts at times in our lives, but if we want to be great, we won't live there. Anyone can keep a positive mindset and persevere when everything is going their way, but that's not what defines us. We are defined by how we act when it feels like everything around us is falling apart and crashing down on us. So when that one second of positive thought comes around the clock, I make it count, it's quality over quantity. If things don't go your way don't just accept it and claim "it's how things are meant to be" reflect on yourself and your scenario and learn and grow from your misfortunes and failures. It's all fuel to the fire.
"Sometimes in life you've got to get knocked down lower than you've ever been before, to stand taller than you've ever stood before."
If you made it this far, I am truly honoured. Thank you for your hearing what I've had to say. I hope you can take at least one thing from this, agree or disagree, and build on and work towards something for yourself and those around you.
Until next time,
Rj
