The World Juniors Experience

I recently returned from my first World Junior Championships, what an experience. As I left off in my last blogpost, the team was in Seefeld, Austria doing a mini-camp before heading over to Rasnov, Romania for the races. Seefeld was a pretty stunning place, the photos truly do not do it justice.

Start of the trails

Rest afternoon exploring Innsbruck 

Innsbruck 

Unfortunately I found myself pretty tired and riding the border of getting sick, so I was not able to put the hours in I would have liked to in Seefeld to prepare myself for the races. It was a good lesson not to underestimate how much big travel days can ware you out. None the less it was an amazing short stay in Seefeld but after 5 days it was off to Romania for the races.

Travel day flex, croissant munchin'

Before our arrival we had been informed that there is essentially no snow in Rasnov (or any cities i Romania it seemed), but when we arrived we arrived it was still a little shaky to see that there was actually no snow on the ground asides from the semi-setup course and the odd patch in the valley. Due to the lack of snow we were not allowed to ski on the track until one day before the races in order to preserve the track. This meant altering our routine of pre-race training and adapting to the conditions, thus roller skiing and running were the best alternatives. Although it was less than ideal, it was a super good experience to learn to adapt to the unexpected, and just to make the best of the resources we had. It was also key to remember that everyone was in the same boat, seeing all of the other teams doing the same rollerski route as us and all around similar preparation.

On a positive note the accommodation was super cool, there were 3 main hotels and a few smaller ones with one common dining hall. It was the whole worlds community staying at the a resort on top of this mountain range, pretty neat.

Stadium a few days before race (photo: Jenn)

Stadium on first official training day (photo: Jenn) 

Busy stadium (photo: Jenn)

Considering the major lack of snow and warm conditions, the organizers did an amazing job building the course. Always seeing trucks loads of snow being brought up the mountain on the days before the races. The loop was 2.5km, an awesomely challenging, dirty 2.5km. The training day was super cool, the course was open for 2hrs, one for the women and one for the men. So when we were pre-skiing it was just packed, every country was out there testing skis and doing their pre-race work. Just to be skiing around this small loop with some of the best young skiers from around the world was a super cool sensation.

Team Jackson

The first day of worlds was the sprints, since out of the 5 junior men on our team I certainly was not the strongest skate sprinter (for those who do not know, each country is allowed a team of 5 but only 4 may participate in each race). It was nice for me to watch the first day of racing and just focus on my next 3 distance races. The next day was the 10km classic and was quite evidently my best race of the week. Although my result wasn't a flashy one (46th) I am super proud of this race, maybe one of my favourite races to look back on. I was ecstatic to finish as Canada's top Junior Man for the race but more important it was just such a gutty race. The course was super wet, muddy and incredibly slow, and to top it off it was blistering hot, +18 and sunny, or something ridiculous like that. It was 4 laps of the 2.5km course and my race plan was to go solid on the first lap, push and build the second, and give it everything on the third lap and then hang on for dear life on the 4th. But by the time I was partway through the first lap I could already feel my body wheezing and seizing, it felt like I had ran 20km through the sahara desert. I was already pushing my threshold and I was at the 1.5km mark of a 10km, it was safe to say my race plan was going a little bit off the tracks. But after my first lap I just accepted that this was going to be ridiculously excruciating, that next 7.5k is going to hurt like none other, and that I'm going to look like a absolute wreck on skis, but that it was all going to be awesome. By the time I completed my 2nd lap I honestly did not know if I was going to finish the race, I was 5km in and my vision was already fading, and I could not hear anything other than myself grunting in pain and gasping for air every stride. But then going into my 3rd lap I clicked into my zone that I cannot really explain, I couldn't even really think, all that I could do is tell my body to take the next stride, I do not even remember the 2nd half of the race all that clearly .. it is a pure guts and hammer zone, nothing else matters. All I remember is it being a super deep dig and the words repeating in my mind, "stride, stride, stride, don't be a baby, stride, stride, stride". When I finished it was a pretty awesome feeling, to have completed my first world juniors race and to have put out what was probably the hardest effort I had ever pushed. It took me a while to come back to earth but when I did and saw that although I was 46th, I was less than 2.5mins off the winner and less than 30s out of the top 30. To my this was extremely inspiring. Yes 2.5mins is a lot of time, but it is not something that is unattainable, we are all just juniors and there is still so much space to grow and develop.

(photo: Angus Foster)

ow (photo: Angus Foster)

The next race was the 15km skate interval start (changed from mass start skiathlon due to lack of snow). It was a race that I was really looking forward to, but things just did not come together for it. I believe that it was a solid race, but I was a just slightly off form and struggled to work the transitions and flat sections. But I learned a lot from this race, but the big one was at this next level of competition, if you aren't on form or you have an off race, you get dropped. It was a real wakeup call to really emphasize that every stride, every push, every effort made in the race counts. 

The day after was the final race of worlds, the 4x5km relay. Going into worlds this was probably the race I was most excited for, there is something about racing together as a team that takes skiing to a whole new level of fun. Unfortunately, none of us were on form - at all. The four of us all struggled pretty hard. I wound up anchoring the relay and was feeling pretty confident about it, but it was then I learned just how hard you can die in a race as short as 5km. I was closing the small gap between us and the German team member for the first 2.5km, I felt quite strong. But when he accelerated into the second lap, I hit an unbelievably hard wall... in a nutshell I lost a lot of time and it was a very long 2.5km to the finish. We are 4 very strong skiers and made a great team, and I do not think our result was not an accurate demonstration of what we are capable of. 

It was somewhat annoying to recognize that I wasn't racing at my best when it was time to show what I had to the rest of the world, it was frustrating to know that I was racing faster and felt stronger in Canada than I did at World Juniors. But none the less it is all part of the experience, it was my first World Junior Championships and as a stated in my last blog, part of being a good skier is being able to show up and perform at a high level whether you feel great or terrible ... and it is something that I definitely need to keep working on, especially at the international level. A work in progress, a goal to strive for. 

The more I look back on the experience as a whole, the more I realized I learned from it. It important to remember how cool it was. And how there is no shame in not being a top dog at worlds. Worlds is essentially all of these countries selecting 4-5 of their top juniors, and throwing them into a race, these people are no joke, it's the real deal. Seeing how results played out it makes me ask the classic question, what makes some of these Scandinavian countries so much stronger, consistently, than us. Seeing them there made me realize that they are just people, they aren't super humans, so what makes them that couple steps faster? 

There is likely an endless list of reasons, but lets reflect on it. My coach Ron made a very strong point in this discussion, and that is how skiing over there is extremely popular, thus a lot of talented kids are introduced to the sport. Just like how in Canada we have so much talent going into sports like hockey. Another point which is sort of related to this, is the depth of the fields in places like Norway. There are so many people racing at every level there, from what my teammates told me, and by looking at results, yes there are insanely fast skiers there, but there are also rather slow skiers there. The difference is there are hundreds of skiers in-between covering every level of competition. In Canada, if I was say, 2 minutes off the leader in a 15km, I would probably end up 15th or so in my category ... if I were 2 minutes off the leader in Norway I would likely end of 80th or something ridiculous.  When racers grow up in that kind of environment, they learn that every motion they make counts, and if they back off ever slow slightly they will fall out of the top group. They are always pushing to stay at the top and improve. In Canada a lot of people can ride pure talent and stay at or near the top without a huge need to continuously push themselves. Now it is not that I don't think our top skiers are at a low calibre, I still truly believe we are capable of seriously competing with the top skiers from Norway, Sweden and other countries, but where the issue lies is that instead of having 10-15 people in a category of 60-70 that could contend for a podium on any given day, we should have 50 podium contenders out of a category of 150+. 

Now it is an idealistic call, and is absolutely easier said and done. But there are many different ways to accomplish this. In the Canadian ski community, we lose a lot of skiers from Gr. 12 to post-secondary. Almost half the field of that age quits skiing. The reasoning behind this is the system we currently have in Canada. We have 3 training centres which are advertised as the best way to pursue high level skiing in Canada, AWCA in Canmore with no real option of going to school, CNEPH which works great for people who speak french - but for those who do not would have a very difficult time going to school, and NDC Thunder Bay which has lake head university - but for many athletes who may have school as a priority before skiing at that time in their lives wouldn't select this option, or may just genuinely not want to go to Thunder Bay. So we have 3 training centres, with about 15 athletes per team, it is a clear issue as to why our numbers drop when people graduate high school. In my opinion people are quitting skiing way before this point in their lives, people are quitting skiing long before that as 13/14 years olds. Young athletes see those three options as the real ways to pursue high level skiing, so they either realize they aren't going to make the training centre standard, or they already realize at a young age that they want to go to a certain university and none of the training centres suit them. So they accept that they are going to continue with skiing with their club until their last year of high school, and then stop skiing and move off to university. To fix this issue we need to put an emphasis on accommodating the larger population of the ski community and invest in clubs and teams that can support high level skiers and accommodate their attendance of university in different cities across the country. There are no real secrets in fast skiing, I think to summarize our issue in Canada is that we are looking for the "seconds" to improve our skiers with high level treatment at the peak of our athletes, when we really should be looking for "minutes" and go to roots of the issue.

(going to stop my mini-rant there, could write a full blog on that ... maybe I will another day)

All of these factors that separate fast skiers in Canada to the fast skiers across the pond is likely not something we can fix for skiers that are my age and older, it is something that has to be fixed for the next generation of skiers. So looking forward on my career, all I can do is continue to work and do everything I can to get faster. I still believe from the bottom of my heart that I can catch the people that are the top dogs right now. And I'll just keep working until that becomes a reality. So to the top juniors in the world right now, thank you for inspiring me, but be sure to check over your shoulder occasionally, Rj is coming.

The pace has been set

Apologies it has been so long since the last update, the combination of school and race season has had me pretty busy. But now that I am comfortably ahead on the whole academics thing and the back to back race weekends are taking a small pause, here's an update from my last post.
So I believe the last time I left off I was wrapping up fall training and doing some final preparations for the race season, so lets talk about how things have followed.

Back in November, and early December, I had no idea how the season was going to go. In my last blog I mentioned how my fall training was slightly sub-par, but I was still confident with the work I had done in the training season. With that said, training on my own for almost every single workout, I truly had no idea how I would match up to anyone else. I pushed all of my intensity workouts pretty much to perfection, but I still had no idea how fast everyone else would be when it was time to actually race.

With that said, I was a combination of super nervous and super excited going into the first races in Canmore. I did my best to put results out of mind and just go race, go remind myself how to truly push the limits and get back into racing. And despite only having just over one week on snow prior, the races went quite well, some awesome efforts and a lot of fun getting back into the feel of racing.

Crossing the line - 15km skate mass start

10km classic interval start 

Canmore was a pretty wicked trip, beautiful place, awesome skiing and racing. Although one of the best parts was the spontaneous trip with the team to Lake Louis for a day of awesome downhill skiing (two days prior to the races). At first I was hesitant about going real downhill skiing for the first time, two days before the first Noram of the season, but now I am quite happy I did. Not only was it a phenomenal time, but the descending skills I learned from it have transferred over quite well to tough descents on the nordic side of things.

After Canmore it was back to Ontario for the first set of university exams, and even worse, back to no snow. There was a pretty dull few weeks before the next set of races (asides from an awesome 5 day family trip out to Silver Star B.C.), and unfortunately found myself in a bit of a trough ... just felt like I couldn't get into my rhythm in not just training, but just lifestyle in general. Was dealing with a bunch of life stuff that had me feeling like I was just running around like a chicken with its head cut off, felt like I was slightly lacking in purpose, super confused.
The plan for skiing was to head down to U.S. Nationals on new years day for a few races before heading up to trials. But with the instability of my routine, I was debating in my on just staying home for a little longer to figure stuff out and passing on the trip. At this time I was quite unmotivated and the vision was just super blurred.
But evidently, I made the trip. It consisted of much hesitation (which I kept to myself) but I took the approach towards the next step of the season as a search for clarity. I felt like I needed to chase a target that I could find the drive I normally had. I decided I needed to qualify for one of the trips to Europe at trials, A: World Juniors, or B: Junior B-tour. And to be ready for that U.S. Nationals was the best way to prepare. The races in the states were great to work out some kinks, it was primarily just awesome to put on a bib again and go race, not knowing the people beside you, and just racing for the sake of racing. It was awesome.

After U.S. Nationals, we were off to Thunder Bay for World Junior Trials. I was kind of heading into trials with a split-mind state of mind. Part of me was super focused on the mission, get those spots to Europe. The other part was just excited to race, to put on a bib and leave it all out there. I think for me this was a great combination to have going into the weekend, the perfect balance of focus and fun. For those who don't know the selection process of World Juniors, there are 3 races at trials, and if you win one you get a spot on the team, and they then select the next 1 most consistent person. I wound up 10th in the sprint and 2nd in the 10km classic interval start. On the last day the planned 20km Skiathlon was cancelled due to the -25ish temperature. I was pretty disappointed when we found out, I was not sure if my results from the past two days would be enough to qualify me a spot on the team. Then after about an hour or two, I got the news, I had be selected to go to Worlds Juniors. When coach Ron told me, it took a while for it to sink in. I knew I was capable of doing it, but knowing and doing are two very different things. In my mind I just kept repeating to myself, "you're going to world juniors ... you're going to worlds juniors? .... you're going to world juniors." It was crazy to reflect back on the season, in the beginning where people thought I was quitting skiing and were just filling with so much doubt in me, then putting them in the back of my mind and just pushing through until I made it, until I proved them wrong. And to get to that point was crazy, so rewarding. At the same time I have taken the time to still recognize that World Juniors does not define how successful I will be as a skier, it is more of a personal landmark. Earning this qualification was more for myself, to motivate me and support the ideas and concepts I stand for.

Team cheer - no one is too cool for team spirit 

10km classic grind

After the eventful weekend, there was a weekend off from the Noram circuit, but then the week after that it was off to the Mt. St. Anne Noram, and Easterns weekend after that. Through this block of time school got a little bit crazy (complete chaos). I felt pretty mentally zonked going into this next block of racing, just from school work and other busy life logistics. But what I have come to learn through all of this is that part of being a great skier, athlete, or just successful person in general, is the ability to just show up and perform. Regardless of exterior influences, I knew I just had to show up, put on my skis, and perform at my highest level possible. I think this a crucial skill to bring together, but also an extremely hard thing to do. A concept that Ron talks to us at hardwood is the idea of flipping the switch. That we should learn how to be either completely relaxed, and then be able switch right into race mode shortly before the race begins. This took me a while to figure out, but I believe I am beginning to understand it. I know a lot of people (including myself) who get extremely tense and stressed the night before and morning of races, and we underestimate how much energy this takes out of us. This season I have been trying not to engage into race mode until very shortly before the start. I have my race plan, I know what I am going to do, then I put it in the back of my mind and continue along without a thought of the race specifics. Once I head up to the start-line, that's when I bring it all back into my mind. This approach has helped me keep relaxed before races but also during races, it prevents me from getting ahead of myself, helps me hold my technique and pace myself better. This came together quite well at a few races, Mt. St. Anne was a solid weekend of racing, but things really together or Easterns. Easterns weekend I simply not able to just focus on the races, even if I had wanted to. I would race in the mornings, but then in the afternoon into the evening I would buckle down on essays and study for/write midterms. This was perfect practice for switching my mindset in and out of race mode. I was ecstatic to be on the podium each day of the weekend, especially on the last day, in the 20km classic, where I took my first Noram victory as a Junior Man and to be top 15 in open men. This may have been one of the best races I have done result-wise, but also effort-wise, technique-wise, and tactically. A lot of components really came together. I owe a lot of credit to my team. Although I moved to Ottawa, there is a reason I still ski for Team Hardwood. We are one of the best teams in the country. We have athletes racing in the midget category, to athletes my age, to alumni racing for training centres and beyond - all working together. When I was racing I had a roaring crown cheering me on all over the place. After races I had many people comment on how intense the team was and how adamant they were about supporting me and the rest of our teammates. This reminded me how I don't just race for myself. I race to make the people who support me proud, to inspire people (not just for skiing, everyone), and just have a super positive impact on the communities I am involved in.

little man, big hug

Team victory

Podium

Return of the Jackson

This blog post is being posted much later than I intended, apologies. I am writing from Seefeld now for a mini-camp sort of deal before we head over to Romania for World Junior Championships. I am beyond stoked. I have not made any claims or really put much thought into a result I am shooting for, top 40, top 30, top 20? I have no idea who these skiers are from around the globe, no idea how fast they are, what they can do, how hard they have trained, what their goals are. But what I do know is how fast I am, how much work I have put in, and how hard I can push myself. So going into worlds I promise no result. What I do promise is to go out there and give it absolutely everything I have, find a new level of pain, redefine my limits. I promise to give an effort worth remembering ... and who knows, maybe a result worth remembering will follow. Currently 10 days out from the first race for me (8 for those who are doing the sprint), I will be ready. The pace has been set, now lets go do what we do best.

Rj

The Transition

Race season is amongst the horizon, getting into the last few weeks of fall training until it's time to hit the snow hard. Here's a little fall recap and thoughts on the transition to the race season.

Fall has got to be one of the mentally toughest periods for training of the entire year. Getting to the 6-7 month mark into training season, I am just ready to race and begin the season. For me personally, this fall was one of the toughest training-wise, physically and mentally. Had a lot of personal stuff happen and nagging pains made the focus on training more difficult than normal. And I was beginning to realize it had been a long 2 months since I had been genuinely happy, had a genuine smile on my face,  I was just not having it … and I think it wore off a little on my training and focus. Through October I had workouts for the first time where I just could not focus on my workout goals, which was a bizarre sensation. Training is usually a nice escape for me and I can give every workout 100% focus and there was nothing else in the world that concerned but my goal of the workout, but there were blocks of workouts in the past month or so that it was just not happening no matter how hard I tried. Overall I was not happy with how I personally did some of my workouts in the fall. I don't believe that it was low quality training, still did all the hours, I just didn't train at a quality that I expect of myself in some of the workouts. It was a good reality check to test the limits of my motivation and is something that is good to look at and breakdown to learn from for later in the season or in seasons to come.

I recently returned from OST/NDC Thunderbay camp in Foret Monmorency for some early on snow hours. Coming from a bummed, unmotivated mental state from the early-mid fall, this camp is exactly what I needed. Being surrounded by a group of people that are so motivated and want to attain their goals and aspirations just as much as I knew I did was such a refreshing sensation.

Team Jackson reunited (photo Angus Foster)

The goal for this camp for me was to hit volume hard and get as much time on snow as possible. I was pretty amped to hit the largest week of training I've ever done. Unfortunately this meant not participating in the time-trial with everyone else, after much discussion with coach we decided that I would get more benefit from spending more time in Z1, staying fresh, and focusing on my technique. I understand the idea, and I definitely made some huge technique gains and did a lot of super high quality hours … but deep down it killed me to miss out on an opportunity to compete against everyone in my category for the season. None the less, it just is getting me that much more excited to race everyone this winter.

Some pictures of the trails

Evening workout because why not (photo Kieran Jones)

This camp definitely got my mind out of the gutter and set me back on track. The transition has begun, winding out of training mode and getting ready to race. I don't think I've ever been this excited to race, although from talking to others I felt like I was the only one this excited to race at this point in the season. At first I was concerned, maybe I was getting to eager and was jumping the gun on the season, but I think this season is just going to be too intense to settled back for, I don't have time not to be stoked to the max. Choosing the path I did this year, it's going to be a whole new ballgame, everyones been working and grinding and it's time to see what we can do. First races for me are in Canmore in early December, a 3 race weekend of sprints, distance interval start, and a distance mass start to kick off the season. 

I still get comments here and there from people questioning what I am doing this year, and the sense of doubt I hear from them is so motivating. I can't wait to prove a them all wrong. 

In other news, I recently returned from a trip to the University of New Hampshire. I went down to visit on a little recruitment trip to get a grasp for the ski team and university student environment there. It is safe to say the states skiing is a totally different environment than what we have here in Canada. I was there for 2 days and had the opportunity to live with a couple of the team members and get a good understanding of there routine, sat in on a few classes, etc. definitely a worthwhile trip. 

UNH at centre campus

Found some broken mirrors in the local forest in Durham  

Even though I set off to Ottawa this year, I am still not sure what path I want to take to accomplish my goals. Right now I just feel like there are so many different pathways for people to choose, and my focus is to be a living example of them. So keeping the idea of going to the states to race next year is an awesome option, but so is staying in Ottawa, so is whatever I decide to do, no matter which step it is I'm gunning for it and I'll make it work. 

Which leads me to a point I want to make to anyone who isn't sure about what they're doing next year, going to university, in terms of skiing, or any kind of switch. I talk a lot with my teammates about how easy it would be to back off of skiing and go live the typical university life, go out all the time and just focus on school. And if I'm entirely honest, for the first few weeks of university I felt that way, felt like I was missing out. Seeing all of my friends having the times of their lives, meeting so many new cool people, just living life and having a good time. This is something my teammate Kieran and myself discussed frequently. And what we always came around to, is that what we were doing is so unique and special. Using skiing as a specific example, it creates such a vast opportunity for us and is something I really feel a lot of us take for granted. For most of us, it is something we love to do, it's a passion. We get to travel the country, continent, the world and ski. It's pretty unreal when you break it down. So for those who are beginning to contemplate their post-secondary step, take a step back and really break down what is more valuable to you, what you truly aspire to accomplish down the road. I personally never want to look back at my career and say "what if" … I want to take it as far as a can, I see what I am capable of. The next step doesn't have to be a compromise, don't think because you want to go to school somewhere for example, that you have to back off on something else. If you want something you will make it work, it may be more difficult than more typical and worn paths, but if you the put the work in the results will follow. Dedication's your most loyal right-hand man. 

Apologies, this blog is all over the place. I took a pause in the middle for the trip to New Hampshire and then had a bunch of school to catch up on. And my thought process is very sporadic and unorganized, but I hope I've been making at least a little sense. 

In conclusion, it's the time of year to transition, change gears and get ready to hit the season hard. As I said before I am so amped. I miss the feeling of my lungs being on fire, seeing stars and blurs, and pushing to the point where the my ears hearing gives out. I'm ready. Whether the transition goes well, I'm ready. Goes horribly, I'm ready. Regardless of what gets thrown into play, I am amped for it and prepared to take it head on. Time to go give everything and kick off an awesome season. Hope everyone brings their A-game. See you out there.

Until next time,

Rj out 

A Day in the Mind of Rj

Welcome, this blog is a little different. I'm just going to spew the guts of my mind into this blog, cover lots of topics, concepts, and thoughts (may be lengthy, it will be worth your time though, I promise). Going to run you all through a day in my mind. I'm hoping some of my messages can get some of you readers thinking, I am not trying to convert you to my ways of thinking, I want to spark the creativity in all of you, so if I had one goal for this blog, is that you finish reading it with a different outlook on at least one section of your life, ambitions, and goals.
This blog is general, not linked to skiing or anything specific, so everyone can relate and connect with it. I'll use examples of myself, skiing, but only because they're the stories I know the best to connect with my writing.

So without further ado, lets get real.

First thing I'm going to talk about is something that drives me absolutely insane. Peoples concept of the word "talent". I strongly dislike when people call me talented. I am not talented. People are very quick to point out someone as "talented" in sport, "smart" in school, "gifted" with technology, etc. etc. before they consider what work has been put in behind the scenes. It urks me so much when people call me talented because I really believe I am quite the contrary. I am very rarely good at anything I have not practiced or trained at diligently before.
For example(s), in elementary school, I never made the basketball or volleyball team (I practiced lots and tried out every year). In grades 4 I got cut from the cross country running team, in 5th grade I just barely got the last spot on the team. And I vividly remember always being one of the, if not the, last kids to be picked for a team for recess football. When I first started swimming, there was a program called Swim Skills which is essentially a pre-requisite for the actually swim club in Barrie. Most people do a year or so in Swim Skills then move onto the team. I spent a year and a half there, then got moved up to the team for a few months, then back down to Swim Skills because I couldn't keep up with the team. And in terms of skiing, people will say I'm talented, but before I committed to the sport, I was already training 2-3x as much as my competitors with swimming combined with skiing. Which showed fitness-wise, but also showed in my faulty technique. My point isn't that I was some dud and we should all feel bad for young Rj, my point is that I was pretty average, if not a little below, but I worked my ass off and now I've had a decent swim career, not too shabby of a runner, and a solid cross-country skier. And I'm only going to get better. I really think people are quick to justify peoples' success because it is so easy to say "well they're talented" or "well, they're smart" but really, you have just as much or even more potential. Don't allow other peoples'  accomplishments slow you down from being great. And the best you, you can be.

Throughout my young life I have heard many different peoples different goals, life expectations, etc. and what people commonly return to, is that they want to be the best. You hear it all the time, from young kids, teenagers, pro athletes… and for a good majority of my life I was fully behind this idea. If you're not gunning for the top, why do it at all? Until recently ... I now strongly disagree with this message. There's only one "best" unfortunately we all can't be the best. In fact, most of us won't be the best. If we spend our time chasing this target, we end up focusing on other people, focusing on the quickest way to the top and we lose track of, why we do it and who we do it for. There are so many phenomenal people on this planet, many of them we'll never compare to. So what am I saying? Stop making goals? Give up? Demoralize you? Absolutely not, but what I do want to get across is that we lack focus on ourselves. The majority of us are average, and very few average people become the best. But here's the kicker. We all have the capacity and opportunity to turn average into incredible. Be something no one would have ever expected from us. Maybe that incredible won't be the best, but why not try? We say no to things we don't even know what we're saying no to, and give up on things before we even try. For me, do I want to be the best? Absolutely. No question. So I'm going to chase it with everything I've got. But that's not my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal is to be the best I can be. If we become the best we can be in whatever passion or path it takes us, great things will be accomplished. The issue is people seem to live in the shadow of having to be the best to make it worthwhile. Find something you're passionate about, focus on yourself, work hard, the results will follow your lead. Don't chase results, make the results chase you.

Now I'm kind of double backing on myself, but recently I've noticed poor feedback in some peoples self-reflection. Self-reflection can be our greatest tool, or our worst enemy. When people make a mistake or produce a result they're not happy with , they reflect back and either beat themselves up, or make excuses to justify it. Now what I've come to believe is that we allow influences we've grown up with to affect how we personally reflect on ourselves. When really self-reflection should be something pure. Now what I like to think, is that we should self-reflect from ourselves as toddlers/little kids. Here's why, when you ask a toddler what they want to be when they're older, you'll hear things like "astronaught, president, professional athlete, firefighter, artist, rockstar, author" … it is pure, it is really what they want to be with little to no negative exterior influences holding them back. They don't care if it's "realistic" or "sustainable". It's what they want to be, and as people grow up they lose focus of that purity through money and material wealth.  So if we reflect on whatever scenario we're dealing with, look at it through the eyes of yourself as a toddler … whether it's deciding what you want to do with your life, are you pursuing what you really want to and are passionate about? How you treat the people close to you, how you advise people? How you spend your time, it can be anything. How would toddler you feel about what you are doing? It is like opening a new set of eyes on your entire scenario.  From the eyes of the pure you.

I feel like I should be wrapping it up, I just have a few more things I want to cover. The first is a concept I heard from motivational speaker Jaret Grossman. In his speech "your brain is like a circuit switch" he delivers some very cool ideas that I was already surprisingly familiar with. What he summarizes is that our brain is like a circuit, so if we introduce it with the right wiring, we'll go straight to our target. Truly believing we are capable of doing something even if our physical body tells us otherwise. My immediate personal connection with this is Eastern Canadian Championships this season (2015), it was a 3 day race weekend, and I was entering it in not so hot condition. I was only a few weeks out of the flu, still close to 15lbs underweight, and I hadn't been able to sleep for more than 4-5 hours a night the week leading up to it. The first two races went relatively poorly, I was so tired, felt weak, still wasn't sleeping at night, wasn't having a great time. Then that night I decided I could either mope around and feel sorry for myself, or I could switch my mindset and go for it the next day. So I talked to Coach Ron for a while the night before, and decided I was going of it. I didn't sleep again that night, but what I did do is keep telling myself "I'm not tired, I feel awesome" on repeat in my head. All night and morning of the race. When I stepped on that line, I felt like I could hardly keep my eyes open, but it didn't matter, "I felt awesome". I went on to win my first ever Easterns gold medal. It just goes to show how powerful mindset is, to a certain extent you can convince your physical body to perform at levels it doesn't render possible. It won't always results in a great performance, but keeping that positive mind frame is a key component to everything. No matter how bad the scenario is going against you.

Okay, time to conclude this for real now, last paragraph. What inspired me to write this is not to spread my positive attitude and commitment, it was to show quite the contrary. I used to have some of the worst work ethic out of anyone I knew. Going back to swimming, I only used to tried when I felt like it, whenever the coach told me to push harder, I went easier. All I wanted to do was lounge around and play video games, stay inside, do anything as long as no one was telling me what to do. But it's all of this that I credit my work ethic. Because I never have trained a single minute hard because someone else wanted me to, I do it because I want to. And when I started training for skiing full time that's what I realized. If you want to back off and take it easy on your work, that's your call, no one in life can force work ethic and passion on you. It's something you build from inside of you and you take it to your goals and aspirations.
And I am not trying to claim I am a positive person either. I write all of this while I'm in one of my most upset moments I've ever been. My groin and abdominal pain is coming back in training more vigorously than ever, I've had multiple more doctors appointments since my last update with no success or any progress to recovering (which is super frustrating), and then my girlfriend of almost 2 years and I recently parted ways. I would be lying if I said I was doing alright. Most of the time in my mind, for every 1 positive thought I have, there are at least 10 negative thoughts. It's like a ten second stop watch cycle.
(I know what you're thinking, "Ryan don't put personal stuff and issues on your blog" … in blog #1 I said I was going to be real here, I keep my word. I document significant events in my life. Besides, people keep things too cooped up inside of them, it leads to bad things, we need to express ourselves more, be real with each other)
 But here's the thing, we all have overwhelming negative thoughts at times in our lives, but if we want to be great, we won't live there. Anyone can keep a positive mindset and persevere when everything is going their way, but that's not what defines us. We are defined by how we act when it feels like everything around us is falling apart and crashing down on us. So when that one second of positive thought comes around the clock, I make it count, it's quality over quantity. If things don't go your way don't just accept it and claim "it's how things are meant to be" reflect on yourself and your scenario and learn and grow from your misfortunes and failures. It's all fuel to the fire.

"Sometimes in life you've got to get knocked down lower than you've ever been before, to stand taller than you've ever stood before."

If you made it this far, I am truly honoured. Thank you for your hearing what I've had to say. I hope you can take at least one thing from this, agree or disagree, and build on and work towards something for yourself and those around you.

Until next time,
Rj

Summer Recap

So summer "break" has officially come to an end, most people are preparing to head off to school, or already have. I recently just moved into my house in Ottawa, starting to settle in nicely. But I'll talk about that later.

This summer I have made some significant improvements across the board. The quality of training I have and am putting in is better than it has ever been. Training started in late April, logged a solid amount through May, but the real show began in June. June and July were both 70+ hours months respectively, August just shy of 70, base weeks being around 15-17hrs. This was a solid increase from last season, but it wasn't 250+hrs of mindless training. The training over these months (May included) were exceptionally focused, this is were I made some huge technique gains. Coach Ron would give me something to work on, and for however long it was until the next technique session, I'd spend all my roller skis focused on the one or two things. There were sessions where I'd be so focused for the 1.5-2hrs, I'd get home from the ski and need to take 5 minutes, sit down on the garage steps, and just recover from this focus, it was almost like a headache. But I think it is definitely showing with how my technique feels and looks.

Although come late August my mind was indisputably becoming more and more exhausted. Although my body was physically stressed, the mental exhaustion just weighed so much heavier. This made me realize we emphasize on physically overtraining, but I also think we can mentally overtrain. So the past few weeks I did the occasional ski with the boys (BROllerski) and did some more running to allow the mind to relax and recover a little.

As I mentioned briefly in my last post, Hardwood is truly transforming into a high performance centre, in which myself, along with the other seniors had the privilege to coach all the younger athletes on the team. The system Hardwood has now is essentially a cycle of success. We coach the younger athletes (with guidance of Ron) so the coach it athlete ratio is quite good, then Ron can focus his attention the our senior program. And as a huge bonus, I think myself as a coach has learned so much and teaching technique has helped my technique significantly. Then the ultimate benefit is team building, there is no longer a separation between the younger athletes and the seniors. The group we have coming up at Hardwood is going to be next level. I have never seen a group of 12-16yr olds so amped to train day in day out. It creates super motivating environment for everyone on and around the team.

Mega Camp 2015

Team Hardwoods' EPIC canoe trip

Declan tearing up the latest strength contraption  

Mt. St Louis Test with Kikkan Randall!

Other summer highlights… I released my turtle/roomate Doug back into the wild, it was very sad but the guy was outgrowing the tank at a rapid rate. S/O to Doug for being an awesome roommate these past two years.

King of the swamp - goodbye Doug

As I also briefly mentioned in my last post, I was lucky enough to get to go the the Alignment Camp out in Canmore. Was a super awesome experience to be able to train with all the training centres and National/World Cup Team members. It was a surreal experience to be skiing around Alex Harvey, Devon Kershaw, Ivan Babikov etc. I think most of the older athletes were pretty used to it, but I was in total awe to be able to train and do the race with them. And due to my relatively poor CPL sprint points, I was partnered up with Lenny for the team sprint, where we finished 2nd to Alex Harvey and Sam. Hardwood well represented.

Team Awesome

And with the training and small trip here and there, the summer was gone, and I packed up and moved to Ottawa, where I am now. The setup here is quite good, decent roller skiing right from our doorstep, Mt. Mooney for hill intervals, Gatineau Park on the weekends. Awesome. I'm super amped to put the next step into action. Just finished a down week for training to prepare the body for a hard intensity block. Don't think I've ever been this excited to throw down some weeks packed with intensity. Stoked is an understatement. Classes also started, university is pretty neat, a big change … but very cool. Frosh week was also interesting, I think I discovered stuff like that is a little too hype for Rj. Definitely prefer a more relaxed environment.

Well, that's a wrap on blog post #2. Nothing too exciting, hope I didn't bore you. I definitely can say if you've made it this far I am very humbled that you took the time to read up on the life of Rj. Stay tuned, I have some quality posts coming in the future. My next… or next-next blog post is going to be quite good. Have a couple philosophical concepts I've been pondering on, just trying to figure out how to put it into a blog. I really think it will change how people will approach things. So definitely stay tuned for that!

Until next time,
Rj out

Side note - i don't really check grammar on my blogs, and there's very little structure, I just choose something and write about it, let the mind flow. Figure it's realer that way.

Season review & the next step

Here goes something, my first of hopefully many blogposts. This is a place where I'm going to keep it pretty real, looking forward to it. Now here's a year condensed into one write up.

This past 2014/2015 season was my most difficult, and most successful season yet. Towards the end of the previous season (2013/2014) I began to experience some chronic groin/abdominal pain. Doctors initially believed it was due to malfunctioning abdominal veins. This led to an operation last summer, which was not successful. Then a more invasive surgery this past fall, where the veins were fixed. With the issue supposably solved, the pain has continued to grow worse to this day. I've had the opportunity to work with 15+ doctors to date, some awesome ones, some not so awesome ones. What I've learned is that the best cure is to learn to cope with it, let it make me tougher.
This injury in combination with a nasty case of the flu before World Junior Trials, gave me a rather slow start to my season.

After a rough start, it was time to get back up on my feet and take the rest of the season head on. I knew  the training I had done was quality and was confident I could make a statement with the rest of my season.
To prevent this first blog from being too lengthy, the second half of my season consisted of a victory at Easterns, some solid results at the Craftsbury Supertour, and 4 podium finishes at Nationals.

Easterns - 10km Classic (photo: mom)

Nationals Podium - 10km Skate (photo: mom)

I don't think I could've been much happier with the way the season was wrapped up. It was a pretty exciting feeling and definitely a big step in the right direction. But there wasn't much time for rest, training resumed for us at Hardwood in late April and the 2015/2016 training season began.

Back at Hardwood, myself, along with a few other senior athletes took on a a coaching/mentor role with the younger athletes. This has been a really eye opening experience for me as an athlete, really gives a new perspective on sport. In addition, I have already learned a whole lot from it. Team Hardwoods' program is really coming together, next level skiing in the making.

Next generation Hardwood athletes (photo: Natalie Pekos)

A lot of people have been curious about my plans for my next step in my ski career. Ever since I respectfully declined my offer from the National Development Centre and decided to go to Carleton while still skiing for Hardwood, people began to assume and ask/tell me me "what made you decide to quit skiing?" or "so I hear you're taking a step back from skiing to focus on school?"

I'm not sure how this rumour began to stir, but this is not true. I've been training harder than ever, I am more focused than ever, and I am feeling better than ever. I think the Training Centres are fantastic options to pursue skiing, but at this point in my career I do not think it's the path is for me. I also believe that there are not enough pathways to pursue skiing after the "club level" in Canada. With only 3 Training Centres and a small handful of clubs with resources to provide high performance support for their graduating athletes … it is no wonder we lose such a high number of skiers from high school to University/College ages. My vision is to see some sort of elite team/training group in Ottawa, to provide another pathway to elite skiing. People ask me how I plan on doing this, and the answer is that I don't know. I've tried creating a formal team on multiple occasions in multiple different formats, and failed miserably. So you could say I don't really know what I'm doing, but I know exactly where I'm trying to go, exactly what I'm trying to create, and I'm sticking to it. 

Another question I get asked is how and why I'm planning on living in Ottawa, and still skiing for Team Hardwood. I think people are too bound to the concept that athletes need to be coached and supervised on a day to day basis. For the past two years I have been getting a training plan from Coach Ron and meeting up for the occasional session for a refresh on technique, and then I work on it until the next session. And that's exactly how it will work in Ottawa. I'll be training the same way, just in a different city, meeting up with the team about once a month. My coach, Ron, is super awesome and we're working together closely to make this work. 

And of course there's a lot who don't think it is a good idea, or that it will work at all. And maybe it won't, I think about it all the time. But I really believe in it and I don't back down from challenges I don't throw myself at with everything I've got first. Like the classic saying goes, "you don't know until you try". Not to mention, the most motivational speeches I've ever heard, are the ones from people who tell me I can't do something. I'm going to Ottawa, skiing fast, and hoping people will follow my lead. That's my Plan A, and I'm going to give it everything I've got. 

So that's my not so little rant on things, hope it clears things up. In terms of this summer I had the opportunity to join the training centres and national team at the Alignment Camp in Canmore. I think it was a good mental check for me to see that I fit in to the field. Not to mention it was tons of fun.

Team Sprint in Canmore (photo: Angus Cockney)

Aaand I think that's a wrap to my first blog! I apologize if it was too lengthy, had a lot to say. I also apologize for any confusing grammatical errors. I'm going to try and blog on anything I feel blog-worthy and when I have time! (other blogs won't likely be as lengthy since I won't have to condense an entire year in it. Thanks for stopping by.

Until next time,

Rj out